I am learning that prayer looks so differently at times. As I have gone through this week I have experienced prayer in such unique ways.
I have prayed through worship music driving down the road. I connect songs with people that I love in my life, I have always done this. It is not planned, there are just certain songs that come on and I will see a face and I am reminded to pray for them.
I have prayed through tears. These prayers overwhelm my heart in a way like nothing else does. I can't breathe, I just cry. These are rare moments but moments that matter more than anything. This week I was heavy hearted for a life long friend who had a baby and there were complications. From the minute I was told about this my heart couldn't handle it. I remember trying to get the girls to school so I could get to her to hug her. In those moments nothing else matters, I just need to be there. As I drove there I tried to pray out loud but I couldn't get the words out because I couldn't stop crying. Praying through tears is difficult but even when we can't say the words, God knows our hearts. These moments allow me to stop everything, every plan, every thought, every to-do....and just rest in His presence.
I have prayed through anger because I have not been able to understand situations. Those prayers are frustrating but necessary. God knows when we are hurting so bad that all we express is anger. I am bad about this. When I am the most sad, or hurt, my actions express anger. It's like I am so broken that I don't even know where to start so I end up angry. It's important that we tell God what we are feeling during these times, He knows it anyways.
I have prayed simple prayers with the girls. Prayers of protection, prayers for a sweet heart, prayers for sweet dreams and fun days. These prayers leave a legacy. Children are always listening to us. I still remember when I was a little girl and my mom would have all of us kids sit on the bed each night to pray. Every single night. We each went around in a circle, and usually said the same little kid prayer, but early on I was taught the importance of these prayers.
I want to always pray, with my whole heart, regardless of the emotion that I may be feeling at the time. There is no right or wrong way to pray, God listens to each word and He loves when we come to Him. We can be thankful, hurting, angry, broken, excited....He can handle it all.
As I was praying over Audree last night I barely open my eyes and I notice that her left hand is raised up towards Heaven. I couldn't even hold back the tears. She is so little but she gets it. I pray she always knows where to turn when life is amazing and when life is difficult. Prayer matters.