Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Disqualified

Disqualified: to eliminate. unsuitable for the position. ineligible. unfit to do the job.

As I left one of my last women's team meetings I had a conversation that changed me. We had just spent the last few hours searching our hearts and openly sharing the parts of our hearts that still needed some work. These types of interactions are always difficult but yet so necessary for us as leaders. We can't ask the women of our church to let God move in their hearts unless we take the first step in our own hearts. It's that simple.

As a team, and group of close friends, we allowed ourselves to go there and really let God uncover some of the rawness that sits underneath everything that others can see. Those moments are humbling, especially for me as their leader, and my heart is so vulnerable anytime I walk away. When wounds, also known as baggage, get uncovered then you are left to deal with what was found. It is just part of the journey.

Minutes later I led one of my dear friends out the door and she said something that I haven't been able to get out of my head.

She said...."Tanna, I feel like if I exposed myself and shared everything with the group then I would be disqualified and asked to leave the team."

It took everything that I had inside of me to not let the tears start falling. My heart paused for a few seconds and I let those words completely penetrate me to the core. I couldn't let that moment pass without fully letting God speak to me through it.

I responded with exactly what I felt when I heard her words.

I said....."If you are disqualified then so am I." 

And I meant every single word.

None of us, including every member of any church staff, would be qualified to lead if our sin and shortcomings were the determining factor. We all fall short and we fall short constantly. Despite our every effort to stand strong, there are moments that we fall.

In that moment I wanted her to understand the true gift of grace and that I myself wake up each day in need of grace. Yes, my past mistakes needed grace but my present mistakes need it too. It's not something that we stop needing because we one day finally "get it all together." Heck, most days I feel like I am swimming in His grace and I feel just as disqualified as she did in that moment.

Over the last week God has continued to remind me that He can use anyone but we have to be willing to let Him. Too often we disqualify ourselves because we know "how bad" we have been or "how bad" we are at times. We know the deep secrets of our hearts and we feel it is our place to tell God that we are not good enough to lead. But that is not how it works.

God uses the humble. He uses the broken. He fills us with His strength each day, and provides a clean slate, so that we can be used by Him.

It is important that we stop discounting ourselves and start believing the truth that God says in His word when He says that His grace is enough. It's more than enough....no matter what.

Disqualified: to eliminate. unsuitable for the position. ineligible. unfit to do the job.

God doesn't eliminate anyone. We are all suitable to love people and share the love of God. His grace provides us with eligibility. He has made us perfectly fit for the job.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Happy Birthday Brandon!

Brandon turned 35 today. Even though I told him that he is getting old, I still look at him like the 12 year old boy that I met so many years ago. Sometimes it is weird to realize that you have known someone for that long but there are so many moments I am grateful for it. We have been through just about everything together and we still love each other. That counts for a lot in my book.

Last night we were talking and he smiled at me and said...."Baby, I will do anything for you...."

And he will. There are so many times that I don't deserve it and I am amazed that he is able to love me so well.

Brandon is gentle and he handles me well, especially in moments where I am not easy to handle. I know that is why God trusted him with three little girls. He has grown so much and he has learned how to delicately handle the heart of a woman. Our daughters are lucky to have him as their Daddy.

Brandon,

I pray that this is a great year for you. Every year is full of ups and downs but the journey is always an adventure and it is more fun together! Thank you for working so hard for us girls, you truly make our world go round. Please don't ever forget how much I appreciate you and all you do for us. No matter what we go through you have the ability to make me smile and love me tenderly.

You are my best friend, you always have been, and you always will be.

Happy Birthday.

I love you so much, Tanna

Monday, October 27, 2014

Weekend Wrap!








It was a crazy October weekend filled with the pumpkin patch, church group, a movie, Jason Aldean concert lots of running, sweet maternity pictures of a special friend & Sonic slushies! I didn't get pictures of everything but here are some fun ones!

After church group Friday night a few of us went to see the new movie "The Best of Me" and I loved it. Not everyone was a fan but I really enjoyed it. More importantly I enjoyed the company :)
Happy last week of October!








Saturday, October 25, 2014

Discipline

Hebrews 12:11

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Last week I used a different discipline approach with the girls and it worked well. They had gotten really bad at coloring on the walls and the furniture of their rooms. Brandon had had enough with the colors, the drawing on the walls etc. 

So one day last week I set aside four hours to tackle the situation. We spent about 45 minutes going through the entire house and throwing away every single color/marker that we could find. Everyone participated. 

Second we spent 2-3 hours scrubbing walls with magic erasers. No one was too young to help! We all scrubbed and scrubbed until all the markings were made white and clean again. 

As we scrubbed we talked about their choices and how moving forward we were going to make better choices. They were extremely attentive and involved the whole time. I actually enjoyed that time to focus on them and talking to them about making bad choices just because they feel like it. 

I am pretty sure God looks at us the same way sometimes. I am sure He gets frustrated at our poor choices, again, and wishes that we would clean them up, start fresh and maybe learn from them. 

It was a good lesson for my two, three and five year olds but for me as well. I love this verse because it is SO true. Discipline doesn't always feel good in the moment but it produces much fruit later on.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Praying that something is being produced in the girls during these moments!! 
(it has been one week and there has only been one new marking...that is a step!)






Kindergarten class pets

Brylee loves her Kindergarten class. There are ten children and so far she has enjoyed every minute of it. They have two class pets in their class and each weekend a different child takes them home to babysit them. A few weekends ago it was our turn and the girls were in Heaven. You can see for yourself how in love they were...




Thursday, October 23, 2014

Audree's Luau: The Dancing & Limbo!

I will wrap up the party with the most entertaining pictures! There were two hula dancers and they were sooo good!!! They had all of us moving and smiling throughout their show. 

Audree surprised us all when she jumped up there with them to perform her own dancing. I couldn't believe it, she must not have a shy bone in her body. Wonder where she gets that?! 














And then she needed to rest in the arms of her friends. What a beautiful day!




Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Audree's Luau: The smiles!

One of my dear friends sent me a text later on the evening of the party.

It said...."There was alot of love in that home today."

It made me cry because she was so right. I cannot be more thankful knowing how many people love Audree. I could feel it constantly and there were moments I just looked around at all the smiles of the people who came to celebrate her. 

Thank you friends and family for loving our little girl so much and showering her with your blessings! 

The many smiles from the party....