6 Years. 6 Lessons

6 is the number of years that we have been married today. I really cannot believe it. Some days I feel like we were just married yesterday, and other days I feel like we should be celebrating 15 years! Each day is different ya know. I think that is normal.

Every year we have laughed. Every year we have cried. Every year we have celebrated. Every year we have learned. For us, the past 6 years has been a rollercoaster ride. Ups, downs, turns, and surprises. And for me, the past 6 years has taught me so much.

Each year I learned something new. ( included pictures from each of our anniversary trips. We have always gone somewhere together on June 7th.)

After our wedding, I learned that the little things didn't matter as much as we thought. I remember as we were planning the wedding I chose chocolate cake for the grooms cake. It was brought to my attention very fast that Brandon didn't want chocolate cake. For some reason I thought it was traditional to have chocolate, and I believe we fought for weeks. About cake. I realized after that it didn't matter. The little things usually don't.

I learned on our honeymoon that just because a man gets married....doesn't mean he won't think another girl is pretty ever again. Ha. On our last night of our honeymoon I noticed Brandon checking out another girl. No need to go into that whole story. Let's just say it was a bad night, and at the time I thought I wanted a divorce already. Or I guess an annulment since it had only been seven days.

I guess I just didn't realize that marriage wouldn't change the fact that guys think girls are pretty. My mind was too innocent. That was a tough lesson.

I think I learned the most the first year. But, I would have to say that the biggest thing I learned was that divorce cannot be an option. Because if it is, then you will end up divorced. Marriage is just too hard sometimes, and if you give yourself a way out...it is too easy to take it.

As we struggled through that first year I remember saying divorce way too much. Just being stupid. I joke now and say "Brandon and I almost got divorced like 12 times the first year." I guess it's ok to joke now. But if I could do it all over again, I never would have said that word once.

The second year I learned, or began to learn forgiveness. I think the first year you hurt eachother a lot. I am not sure why, maybe just because it is so new and both people seem to mess up a lot. I feel like I spent the second year trying to make peace in my heart...for everything that happened the first year. Forgiveness is a tough thing. Not just saying you forgive someone, but truly doing it.
The third year we both learned how to say goodbye. Not to eachother. But to the life that we had started in Tennessee. We had to leave all of it. We moved to Oklahoma and we did not know a soul. I learned how to lean on Brandon, and together we learned how to build a new life...new friends...

We learned how to have fun again...just the two of us, because we had to. Sometimes when you get a lot of friends you tend to have fun with them. We didn't know anyone, so we ran to eachother. I think that year we grew very close again.

The fourth year I learned how to balance "things." I was in the middle of training for my blackbelt so I was working out hours every night. I was still teaching, trying to be a good wife, working out til bedtime and it was just so much. I had to learn how to get my priorities in line. I realized that for a short time it is ok to put more time into one thing. (blackbelt) But...only for a short time. I learned that in order for my marriage to work, I had to keep my priorities exactly where they needed to be.
The fifth year I learned more about grace. That year was full of "stuff." We were finishing up our jobs, building a house, preparing to move to another state, saying goodbye, trying to get pregnant, etc. In the midst of all that, I found myself bored. Brandon was addicted to video games. (and when I say addicted, I mean it. One week he played 42 hours, no joke.)

For a few months I thought it would be fun to "live the life" again. Going out with friends, dancing, you know...the life that we think will meet our needs. So I lived it, didn't get me anywhere. I guess I was just waiting for Brandon to yell "Stop!" Or maybe I was just trying to get his attention on me, and not video games. Either way I got his attention.

And when I finally did, I needed him to show me grace. I needed him to understand me. I needed him to forgive me this time for not being home more. I realized that there are times in a marriage when there is nothing you can say...except "I am sorry."

I did. And he gave me grace....

This sixth year I have learned that it is not all about me. Or Brandon. When you have a child there are just many "things" that don't matter anymore. There are many fights that are not worth fighting. There are many words not worth saying. I have been learning that you shouldn't beat down the father of your child. Yes, Brandon still makes me mad, but I want this to work even more....for Brylee. So I am seeing that it is not always about how I feel or what I want. It is what is best for our family. And because of that, it is easier to get along. Most of the time :)

This year we went to the George Strait concert for our anniversary. No trip just yet, couldn't leave Brylee that long! More pictures to come from our anniversary night.

As you can see, I have learned a lot. A part of me thinks...."It's a shame it takes so long to learn these things." But the more I think about it, that is what life is all about. If we had it figured out to begin with...it would be boring.

A few weeks ago I asked Brandon's grandmother when she finally figured out marriage. They have been married longer than 50 years. She replied "I am not sure yet, I will let you know when I do!"

When it comes to marriage, you never stop learning....