"We impress people with our strengths, but we connect people with our weaknesses."
I heard this in a sermon about a month ago and I have not stopped thinking about it since. It is SO true. Way too often we walk around, live our lives, and do our very best to be "strong" so that others will see our strengths. I will be real honest with you. I find myself in many different circles and groups of women in one weeks time and I find it harder to be myself (weaknesses and all) in some of those groups. I am not blaming anyone for this, it may be my own fault and the pressures I place on myself, but it is just the truth. If I were to take you through one of my weeks, and be very honest about how I felt in every group, then I think you would see that I struggle with completely relaxing and not worrying about being real. Because I do struggle.
I was with several moms a few weeks ago and we had the best time together. When they were leaving we were joking about how it was nice to know that when we all drove off we didn't have to worry about what anyone was thinking. We didn't have to worry if "so and so took something we said wrong" or if someone got their feelings hurt because we all know each others hearts. We recognize that we are all human and we WILL make a mistake but we choose to not take it personally because we love each other and we know that everyone there has a pure heart. It is so much easier when you can get to that place.
There is nothing worse than leaving a place and second guessing everything that you said. Oh my goodness this will keep me up all night. I will worry what people thought, worry how they took it, worry if I should have said whatever it was...and almost always it was something dumb! Am I the only one that doe this? Agh I hate that I do this and I am working so hard to take a step back and not think twice about it. I do this the worst after I speak at a women's event. It is so bad that I don't even sleep the whole night after I speak. I wonder if I did a good job. I wonder if/how God worked in someones heart. I wonder if I should have given every example that I gave. I wonder if I said too much...or not enough. Oh my word it is bad and I am having to learn to just speak what God put on my heart....and then let it go.
I am trying to take this advice and apply it to my friendships as well. I am working hard to connect with one friend at a time, expose my heart, love them for who God created them to be and then allow God to do what He desires. It may take a lot of time to get to "that place" where we see the purity in each others hearts but it is so worth the wait because then and only then are true friendships built.
I am learning that if I walk away stressed out from every play date then it is not worth it because I cannot give my children my very best...and at the end of the day when my head hits the pillow...giving them my best matters more.
The reason I started this out with that quote is because a big part of connecting with other women (on a deeper level) is being vulnerable and allowing someone else to see your heart and trusting them after you expose it. And that is hard to do. For so long it was much easier for me to stop by a play date, put on a happy face, talk about things that really didn't matter and then go home. It was easy because when I walked out the door I didn't have to worry much because I didn't say much. But at the same time I didn't feel a real connection with anyone there and I didn't feel like our friendship grew.
When we share our weaknesses, we become "real people" to whoever we are sharing it with. I once had an anonymous reader tell me that it would be nice if something would go wrong in my life so it didn't seem so perfect. I about died because something goes wrong every day in my life. Sometimes it is little stuff, sometimes it is big stuff...but this LIFE and things go wrong for ALL of us! I guess I was sad that someone would wish that but even sadder that someone would think that things don't go wrong for me. If you take the time to talk to me, to know me, then you will see all of the things that have gone wrong in my life. Just ask my friends...it's quite the list....but every time I got back up and kept treading up the hill. I chose to keep moving forward because I never wanted to be stuck in that awful place. But we must take the time to know someone because when we do then we can find many ways to connect with them on different levels.
My weaknesses have turned into some of my greatest testimonies over the last 5 years. Years ago if I would have hidden my fears, hidden my pain, hidden my difficult experiences, decided to keep my insecurities as a woman to myself, and tried to "act like" things were great....then I would have NEVER made the friendships that I have now. Never in a million years.
Our weaknesses can and will connect our hearts with others around us if we are willing to share them with someone else. I am living proof and I promise that I can connect with anyone....I always find a way. Leading The Challenge is a wonderful example. I have met (through email or in person) hundreds of women and we are all so different. We come from different places, different backgrounds, different religions, different colors, different family situations, different everything but yet we ALL are doing The Challenge because we all share a common goal. We want to lose weight, overcome our insecurities and self-doubt, and become healthy inside and out. So we connect every time.
I encourage you to share a weakness of yours with someone else and just see what happens. Our weaknesses make us real and they make us human....they don't take away from special person that God created us to be.
Our weakness can AND will connect us!
And random pictures from Sunday. Brylee was doing her cheerleading moves with Ross and Audra--they are so fun!
